Deciding to get engaged and married is a huge step to take, and these are decisions that will literally change your life forever. Living through the moments that lead to the wedding day itself is a mix of exhilaration and anxiety — from the proposal, to the engagement celebration, and the wedding planning.
My own engagement and wedding journey all happened within a year. By God's grace, we and our guests truly enjoyed our wedding day. But the planning process was not without its own bumps.
After getting our families' blessing, we set out to pray and plan. It didn't take me long to realize that we didn't have any idea how to even begin planning a wedding. Naturally, this made me panic.
I sincerely hope you don't go down that same anxious route I took so that's why today, I'll share with you what I learned from planning and executing one of the biggest events of my life.
1. Agree on the budget
One of the first things we did was to set a budget and agree on it. Our decision to get married was somehow impulsive, though we've been building up towards it for years. And at that time, we didn't have savings allocated for our wedding.
So we each examined our financial status and figured out how much we could spare from what we currently had. We knew we could still earn money that we could use to pay for expenses along the way, but it was important that we knew our limit.
Our budget was solely based on what we could afford. We didn't set the amount based on the kind of wedding we wanted because at that time, we didn't even know how we wanted our wedding to be like.
If you came prepared for this battle, you'll definitely have to consider your non-negotiables when setting a budget.
Don't forget to make room for unplanned expenses. These are the often unnoticed ones, such as the meals you pay for when you meet with your suppliers and the traveling expenses you incur when you go on oculars.
2. Commit to your schedule
We found out along the way that there's a lot that goes into realizing a wedding celebration. It's important for both parties to be fully committed, because you'll have to make time for meetings and activities on top of your usual schedule.
During the time we planned our wedding, me and my spouse were residing in different countries. That was quite challenging, because we had to regularly meet via online calls at odd hours to check up on each other and our planning progress.
Committing to a schedule also means having a clear timeline for the wedding day and all the activities leading up to it. This will help you avoid cramming and becoming super stressed out on your big day.
Set expectations with your partner and the people who may be affected by the changes in your schedule, such as your colleagues.
It's understandable if you don't want to let everyone know about your wedding plans just yet. But having the support of the people close to you certainly eases the burden significantly.
3. Decide on what you want to include and do away with
It's no secret that weddings can get very expensive. Still, there are many ways how you can experience the meaningful wedding you want without breaking your bank account.
I watched a video from The Financial Diet that made me realize we had all the liberty to celebrate our wedding according to our preferences. You don't have to meet expectations aside from your own.
These wedding hacks made our special day more personal and saved us thousands of bucks:
Guests
Paperless invites — We built our own website, which we used to gather RSVPs, to provide important wedding details, and to house our digital wedding album.
Controlled guest list — We limited our guest headcount to less than 100 persons. This allowed us to celebrate with the people who truly mattered to us. Aside from the sheer firmness we applied over this decision, we also deliberately invited our family and friends only two months before the big day.
Small entourage — Having a small entourage certainly contributed to our laid-back wedding as we didn't have to worry about coordinating with and providing for a lot of people.
No giveaways for guests — Photos from our photo booth rental and the gift cards we gave away as game prizes doubled as our guest giveaways. Speaking of wedding games, I know from experience that not all guests appreciate the traditional "finding a partner" games, so that's also something to consider for your own wedding.
Traditions
Basic celebration package over a wedding package — The basic celebration package that our hotel venue offered already included everything we needed (setup, sound system, catering, and venue). So we opted for this instead of the more expensive wedding package. It was important to us that our guests also enjoyed our wedding, so we chose a venue that served great food and we made sure to play good music for everyone's entertainment.
No pre-nuptial photo shoot and same-day edit video — Aside from not having time for the photo shoot, these were traditions that did not matter a lot to us so we chose to do away with them. Alas, this proved to be the right decision for us because the married life really does take over after the wedding high, which means limited time and attention for post-wedding and honeymoon activities.
No wedding cake — We honestly didn't think that the cake-cutting ceremony was important so we didn't get our own cake (also, they are quite pricey). But our friends surprised us by bringing a cake and having it served on our wedding!
Suppliers
On-the-day coordinator — Even though it was a lot of work, we opted to oversee the whole planning process ourselves and hired coordinators only for the wedding day itself.
Hired friends as host and wedding singer — These are expensive suppliers, so I opted to hire my friends instead as they charged more affordable rates for us.
Food allowance for suppliers — Our suppliers agreed to be given an extra budget for food instead of being included in the catering guest list, and this saved us a lot. This may sound like an uncomfortable discussion to have with your suppliers, but don't be afraid to ask them politely.
Rented the bridal and entourage attires — I didn't want to keep a wedding dress in my closet as it will only take up space. We opted to rent ready-to-wear attires instead because it's the more practical and cheaper option. This allowed us to provide our entourage with gowns and suits as well.
No fresh flower arrangements — Fresh flowers are high-maintenance and they're quite expensive. I went for a customized, handmade fabric wedding bouquet and had a flower wall made with artificial flowers instead.
4. Prioritize what's important to you and your partner
There are different factors you will consider when making decisions for your big day. You have to agree on these or make a compromise. After all, the wedding day is all about the couple.
For instance, what kind of wedding will you have? Will it be a civil, garden, beach, or church wedding?
Where will you hold the ceremony and reception? Will you ask your guests to travel out of town or will you opt for a venue that's closer to home?
Will you have a grand celebration or a simple one?
These are only some of the big decisions you will make together. Reaching an agreement on your vision for your wedding day will give you a celebration you'll both cherish forever.
5. Hire reputable suppliers
Finding suppliers we could afford and who were easy to work with was one of my major concerns while planning our wedding.
But before thinking about this, you first have to figure out what kind of suppliers you'll need. And for this, having a vision for your wedding day is a must.
I'm a very meticulous and hands-on client, and the suppliers I and my spouse sourced were patient enough to acknowledge all my concerns. Friends who had connections also recommended really good suppliers whom we hired.
As a result, we put together a team that was a joy to work with and who really came through for us. We had a nearly stress-free wedding day because we worked with people who best fit our needs.
6. Track your progress and expenses carefully
I cannot stress enough how crucial this is. As soon as you start planning your wedding, create a live file that you and your partner can collaborate on to keep track of the big picture.
The things you should include in your progress tracker are:
Your timeline (this is especially important for legal requirements)
The list of suppliers
Your budget, all your expenses, and payment terms
Wedding and reception checklists (your wedding coordinator can help you with this)
The guest list and table assignments
Your wedding playlist (this is optional, but it can be handy)
Always ask for a copy of the signed contract from your suppliers. Keep receipts and other important documents somewhere safe and easy to recall. Remember, this is also for your security as a client.
I regularly met with my partner via online calls to discuss the updates we made in our live file. It sounds boring, I know. But it helped us stay organized and on track.
While we each had access to the document, we still saw to it that we told each other what we added or removed so there were no surprises.
7. Maintain an open and honest communication
This doesn't apply only to your partner — you should also have good communication with your family, suppliers, and guests.
Your wedding is an important event and the people who love you, as well as your suppliers, only want the best for you. If there's anything that bothers you, you have the license to respectfully air out your concern.
Encourage others as well to express themselves honestly but tactfully. It will definitely be more difficult if piled-up concerns were left unresolved. This can affect the mood on your wedding day and even post-wedding relations, which I'm sure you don't want to happen.
One of the difficulties we had with our planning was coming up with the guest list. We wanted to keep it small, and that meant not inviting some relatives and friends. Our parents voiced out their concerns over this, so we had to patiently explain to them why we won't be sending out an invite to everyone we knew.
In the end, the couple gets to make the final decision. And it's simply easier to make decisions when there are no lingering disagreements between any party.
Have I missed anything you find important when it comes to planning a wedding? Drop me a line and I'll be happy to chat with you. Best wishes!
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